Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Up All Night, Sleep All...

Well, never. I'm not going to be sleeping all day, that's for sure. 6 cups of coffee will solve that problem. You'll have to forgive this blog post ahead of time. It's mainly for my sanity, which might be entertaining, bust most likely will just be confusing.

This happens sometimes. Shit, I mean. It happens. I can't sleep because of it. My brain is working in overtime trying to figure out my position in life. It's like God's version of GPS stuck in my cranium somewhere. "Turn Right in 1 mile"

When this happens, my life becomes a puzzle with a picture of a chessboard. I have to arrange the pieces a million different ways to make them fit. Once I think I have the border done, I can start moving bishops and rooks.

I think I found all the corners tonight, while talking with Corinne. But damn if the board is not an ugly mess. It's going to take a lot of concentration and decision making to figure this one out.

I tend to second guess myself when I try and predict the future, but I also tend to be correct. I know that I'm closest to the truth the more panicky I become. I'm usually pretty early, but almost always see the writing on the wall well before the paint is dry. This can be both good and bad. Timing is everything in life and really nothing is certain, only probable or improbable.

Confused yet? It'll make more sense in about 5 months. For now, I've got to consider the possible and how it is probable.

There is hope. I can't forget that. There is always hope. With work and grace, once can accomplish much in the time between now and the inevitable. I need to remember that. I can and will make a difference, I just hope it's enough.

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