Not The Update You Were Looking For

Well I told myself that I wasn't going to blog, but things happen and occasionally you need to publicly state something that doesn't fit into a FB post or a tweet.

I've been trying to occupy my mind lately and so the sadist in me decided I should start paying attention to Ole Miss football.   A lot of changes have happened since I last thought about our miserable season and I decided now that our season was over and Nutt was officially gone it would be a good time to peak under the covers and see what's going on.

The first major change is that we fired Houston Nutt. Finally.  Houston Nutt checked out after the second Cotton Bowl (if you want proof look at our recruiting classes) and never truly checked back in.  I'm not sure what was going on, if it was on purpose or what, but his disorganization and lack of motivation was poisoning the entire team.  I feel most sorry for the seniors that had to leave on such a low note.  The players deserved a coach that is willing to fight to the end.  Not one that just sort of shakes his head and says I don't know.  To me Nutt's attitude for the last two seasons highlighted the fact that he had no loyalty to the school, no desire to be in Oxford and really didn't care about the program.  Good riddance.  I was always cautious of Nutt to begin with because of the issues he had at Arkansas.  I have to respect you as a person before I can believe you'll ever be an effective leader.

The next big change was we fired Boone.  Yay.

We then hired Hugh Freeze. What, the Blind Side coach?  Really?  Yes that was my initial reaction too and I wasn't really thrilled.  I really wasn't sure who we would should hire, but I sort of expected someone with a better resume.

But then I started reading about Freeze.  The more I read, the more I started to wonder if this was the coach we should have hired all along.  Freeze is from the area and has ties to the school.  He wants to be in Oxford and wants to be part of Ole Miss.  This in itself is huge.  I know people scoff at the idea that this really matters, but it matters long term.  If a coach is motivated, his team is motivated.  If a coach can understand a school and its idiosyncrasies he can appreciate the school and sell it to recruits.  This was the first quality I looked for a in a coach and Freeze fit the bill.

Secondly he's young and hungry for a chance.  Freeze proved himself on a smaller scale.  He helped turn around two programs and at Arkansas State won his conference.  "It's not the SEC" is usually the first response.  This is true, but I'm willing to gamble on a young coach that will have success and stay in Oxford and build a program then put my money on a coach that will have two winning seasons and try to jump at the first school that makes him a better offer.  Besides, winning is winning.  His system in the Sunbelt may not work in the SEC, but maybe a different system will and if he can come up with a winning system before why not again?

He's cerebral.  This may end up being a fault later on, but after the last two coaches it's a real positive. You can tell he's actually using his brain and will do things to eke out an advantage with limited resources. He'll play to player's strengths, adapt to the talent he has, recruit the talent he wants and exploit other team's weaknesses.  He could get too tricky with his plays, but for now it's nice to have a coach you can understand at the press conferences.

He's spiritual.  I know this sounds folksy, but again I have to admire the person before I can believe they are an effective leader.  Freeze is spiritual and focused on family values.  This is an excellent trait and will help his team to rally around him.  It'll help him choose players who will stay out of trouble and will sacrifice for each other as opposed to being self centered and egotistic.  It will help his players play as a team, not as individuals with a lot of talent.  It's the same trait that everyone admired about Dexter McCluster and it's the same trait that made him a leader.

All of these things combined and I'm starting to really like the decision to hire Hugh Freeze.  There is a lot of room for improvement and I know after the last few years everyone is highly skeptical, but I'm calling a turn around right here.  I think we'll win at least 5 games next year with the high possibility of more.  I think we'll play with a passion that has been missed and I think we'll win the Egg Bowl.  There I said it.

The last time I predicted anything it was the first year that Nutt was coach and I predicted we were going to beat Texas Tech.  Everyone figured we would get murdered, but there were many signs to me that we were likely to stomp the shit out of them.  The score didn't really reflect how badly we beat them, but the dejected looks on all of the Texas Tech fans that streamed out after the third quarter did.  So, I'm publicly stating now that I think we've turned a corner and there are some very positive things for us to come over the next few years.  Hotty Toddy.

Intermission

I know I'm supposed to be writing about young me, but I had to write this down while it was still fresh in my mind. 

I was tucking Charles into bed when he mentioned that he sometimes is afraid of the dark. Charles is a smart kid and understands that there is no such thing as monsters, but he's also young and the world is still magical to him at times. I gave him some encouragement and talked about how he was strong and he didn't have to be afraid. He seemed ok with this explanation and I kissed him goodnight and walked into the kitchen to finish up some dishes.

While I was putting a bowl away, it dawned on me that I had handled that situation all wrong. So I went back into his room and I started to explain the definition of bravery.

I told him that being brave isn't the absence of fear. Fear is normal and everyone experiences it. Bravery is continuing on with our lives despite that fear. Bravery is not letting that fear rule your life. I told him I had many fears, but I wouldn't let those fears stop me from doing what needs to be done. I could see the light bulb come on in his eyes and I realized he understood a little better.

 Personal choices are what determine our lives, not the circumstances around them. I hope he learned the lesson well.

The Early Years; Been There, Done That,

I'm pretty sure I've written about my early childhood at least a dozen times. Quite possibly I've even written about it on this blog but I couldn't find the post. I suppose the practice is good, but even I get tired of hearing me say the same story over and over again. This is the problem with keeping journals, blogs, myspace and facebook, no central thread.

I was born in Seoul, South Korea in the late seventies. I won't say when, but it was late and during the seventies. The story goes that a woman dropped me off at the orphanage never to be seen again. I don't know if there was a basket involved, but I always imagine there was one just like in the movies.

Because of my age, a kind worker took me home from the orphanage and kept me as her own while they tried to find someone to adopt me. A nice American couple, who had adopted a baby girl from the same adoption agency 4 years earlier, was called and asked if they would be interested in adopting a baby boy. They agreed and I at the age of 6 months was adopted.

Author's note: I really had a different concept of time growing up and my brain does not keep dates like this. Even now after being told repeatedly by my dad how old I was when I was adopted I am not certain due to some sort of mental block. So the times and ages are all approximate.

My new family and I flew together from Seoul to the US with a layover in Hawaii. I apparently cried the entire flight and most of the time on the beach.

I was very lucky to be adopted by such a kind and caring family. My new family lived in Montana on a ranch with horses and dogs and everything. One of my earliest memories is steering a tricycle while my sister pushed me and we ran over grasshoppers in the circular driveway. Most of my memories from this time are just simple kid memories like watching my parents or learning how to do things like swing on the swing set.

One day, I was probably about 4, I remember my mom getting a phone call and when she hung up she went into the bathroom and started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said someone had called about buying the boat (we had a sailboat, yeah life was tough). Being a kid, I thought she was upset because the boat was going away, so I tried to console her saying that we could get another boat. What I didn't realize was that we were selling the boat because we were moving.

My father had a successful CPA firm, hence the sailboat, but he was working 70 hours a week and wasn't very fulfilled. We only saw him occasionally and he was constantly stressed out. I'm not sure what triggered the decision, but one day my parent's decided that the best course of action was for my dad to pursue a career that would give him more family time and meaning. Looking back through his career, teaching entry level accounting courses was something he really enjoyed and so they decided to sell the firm, house and boat and join a PhD program.

And this is why my mom was crying. Because we were leaving family, friends and a way of life. Adventures are always grand, but it doesn't make the goodbyes any easier. I don't think she was crying because she didn't want to move, I think she was crying because she had to say goodbye.

Looking back, it's weird how life times things and I think if she had been able to see what the future held, she would have probably never sold the boat.

What's Up, Super Sized

Ok, so it's been a while since I've blogged. Lately I've been thinking a lot about blogging, Facebook, Twitter and all of the other different types of social media and trying to figure out where they all fit in.

The blog started out as a way to update my friends and family and every now and then release a common sense laden rant on the intertubes. However, the truth is now that my Dad and the rest of my immediate family have joined Facebook, they are more updated on my life than I often am.

So that leaves opinionated rants. And we all know I have opinions, deep seeded, dark, brilliant opinions. Twitter has moved into the role of mouthpiece for said rants since it's so convenient and far reaching. The problem is that it restricts my rants to 140 characters. This is good, because you learn to be concise when summing up a global issue, but for someone like me it definitely leaves a lot to be desired.

Which is where blogging comes in. I can post full size rants which will be preserved for all eternity on Google. The problem with a blog is that it's public, and I have to show some restraint in honor of the positions I hold as an employee, soldier and small business owner.

The military is particularly worried about what I write in public, we call it OPSEC (operation security). Updates on my life aren't top secret, but seemingly harmless information can be easily pieced together and used for military purposes. The internet makes the collection of that information way too easy. Paranoid, sure, but why even risk it, considering my life and other's lives are potentially at stake.

So I have been censoring myself, which makes me not want to write. Because I hate censorship and I like to sort of spout off whatever crazy shit I want. I love freedom of speech, this is one of the reasons I joined an organization that fights for it, but doesn't necessarily afford it to its members. You have no idea how many rights I've temporarily sacrificed so I can fight for our rights.

So what do I blog about? I figured I'd save all of the historians some work and start on my memoirs. You're welcome.

The plan is that over the course of the next few months I'm going to talk about the historical me. Please, please don't thank me, it's the least I could do for you, my only reader. Seriously though I am going to write about my life and probably throw in a random rant. Sorry I've been gone for so long.

I'm a Reader, Not A Writer..

Or at least lately this seems to be the case. I've been gorging myself on media lately and it seems to have impacted my ability to write. Secretly I was hoping it would inspire me to write and influence my writing style. No such luck.

So as any good blogger would do, I'm going to write about my inability to write.

Kidding, that would be lame and I'm pretty sure I've done that before in college as part of a writing exercise. No instead, I'll give you a quick recap of some of the stuff I've been reading.

1. 'Super Freakonomics' - The sequel (not sure if that's entirely appropriate, maybe the follow up) of the popular and NY Time's Best Seller 'Freakonomics'. It's basically a bunch of odd stories about how people make decisions and how certain things we perceive to be obvious are neither obvious or correct. It had a really good write up on the futility of the fight against global warming. I had already blogged about this but 'Super Freakonomics' presented the all important facts.

2. 'Norwood' - A novel from 1966 written by Charles Portis. I stumbled upon Portis in a blog celebrating his obscurity as an author. Turns out he wrote 'True Grit' which I'm working on now. 'Norwood' is funny. It's a comical look at the culture of North Texas/Arkansas during the 1950's. It's a short fiction story about Norwood Pratt and his odd adventures. The sentences are short and to the point and it took me reading 'True Grit' to figure out that 'Norwood' was a comedy of sorts. The girl at Square Books had tried to explain it to me, but I didn't really understand. It's definitely worth a read though, it has midgets and an educated chicken.

3. 'The Bourne Identity' - Oh yes, Robert Ludlum's fast paced spy novel popularized by Matt Damon. 'The Bourne Identity' was written in 1980 and set in that time period or earlier. As a result, the novel is quite different from the movie, especially in terms of technology. It's a fun read, definitely as much fun as the movie, even if it's not high brow literature. I guess it would be a men's version of those vampire novels that are all popular with the ladies. Team something or another.

I'm in the process of reading 3 books. Why three? Because 2 are hard work and I have to alternate between something that doesn't make my brain melt a little.

1. 'Infinite Jest' - The hot indie, hipster bible. If you haven't heard of it, you're not cool. Don't worry, you're so uncool you don't realize you're cool, so it's cool. David Foster Wallace. DFW. Ring any bells? Yeah, me neither. I kept hearing about this book and decided to pick it up. Imagine my surprise when I saw how difficult it was to pick up, literally (har, har, it's 1500 pages long). So I've started and stopped and started and stopped. It's good, in a 'Wes Anderson' sort of way, but it's still really long and daunting. I think that's part of the joke.

2. 'True Grit' - Quick, go get a copy so that when the Coen Brother's version comes out on Christmas? (really?) you can say you liked the book better. It's actually pretty good. I saw the John Wayne version a long time ago and liked the movie well enough. The book has the same short and to the point sentences as Norwood, but the subject matter is much more serious and dark. This is my breather book.

3. 'Afghanistan, A Cultural and Political History' - No kidding. I'm reading it because I figure I'm going so I may as well learn why. Maybe it'll save my life knowing why the villagers are so damn pissed off. Who knows. It has been really insightful so far and I'm definitely learning a lot, but I like to read for entertainment, not knowledge, so this gets swapped out with the other two.

That's all I've got for now folks, I half-heartedly promise to write more. I actually have some news to write about it, so it's all very likely.

Quick Randomness

I promise to start writing more, I'm sure both of you are excited. Anyways, a quick post with a little insight into my mind. I read the following headline "Buyer Interest in Toyota tanks" and imagined this:

Not this:

A small part of me was really excited Toyota was going to start producing tanks. OK, maybe a large part of me.

Back in Time for 2010

This post is about 4 weeks late, but I'm back from Basic and AIT. Most of you who read this blog are well aware of this fact, but I figured I had to blog about it to make it official.

I graduated and received my castle on December 4th, 2009. I am a combat engineer and damn proud of that fact.

Combat engineers perform a number of different jobs in the Army, but for the last few years the majority of them have focused on route clearance. This basically means finding and destroying IED's. Engineers are also used to breach doors or walls using explosives, shotguns and chainsaws. Engineers also set up security barriers/razor wire to protect operating bases.

AIT covered all of these things plus mine detection, personnel searches and a few other things.

Basic was difficult and I'm proud I completed it. It was harder than I anticipated and I definitely pushed a few of my limits. However, it was never impossible and with the support of my battle buddies, I always felt ready to take on the next challenge.

Now that I've completed Basic and AIT, I have my regular Guard duty of one weekend a month and two weeks a year. This month and February I will drill with my RSP unit at Tupelo. I will then be handed off to my new Engineer Unit in Houston, MS and will begin training with them.

I was lucky enough to have 2 battle buddies in my platoon who will also be in the Houston unit, so I'll at least know a few people when I start.

I'm unsure about deployment, but I think the Houston unit just got back in 2008 from Iraq, which means it should be 2012 before they are deployed again. Of course given today's environment, anything could happen.

I'm still working on adjusting a little to a weekend warrior lifestyle, but easing into being home with my family took no adjustment at all.

I plan on blogging about how incredible everyone has been towards me and my family, so for now I just want to say "thanks" to everyone for everything.

Essayons!