Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Animoto

I was right, this is addictive. I'm not embedding anymore. Takes up too much bandwidth.

http://animoto.com/play/PWZmuL6HCqqVMJAp9abwCw

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Shampoooo


One of the first things you learn as a parent is that giving a newborn a bath is terrifying. Not something they really explain that well in parenting classes. In those classes you grab a plastic baby and pretend you have a tub full of water and wipe the baby down with a washcloth, all the while rolling your eyes because this is the dumbest exercise in the world.


Then you bring the kid home and you realize you need to bathe the little sucker because he's covered in piss and breast milk.


No biggie, we covered this already. Except they forgot to mention that newborns have no neck muscles. It's like holding a dead chicken. The head just rolls from side to side and you're praying to God that the damn thing doesn't break while you try to maneuver him so you can get at him with the washcloth. Oh and water temperature. What if it's too hot? If it's too cold, will it even get him clean or just piss him off? Soap, won't it like burn through their skin or something? God forbid if you get it in his eyes.


Which actually leads me to the original idea behind this post. Washing a kid's hair is an art and I am Michel-fucking-angelo. I obviously take great pride in my ability to wash my kid's hair without making them cry or scream or crying myself. It's hard, requires patience and a steady diet of boiled eggs and protein shakes.


Why is it important to me? Well, I clearly remember when I was kid having my hair washed by mom and hating it. I used to scream bloody murder and it was the entire reason I hated taking a bath. The first problem was the nails. She would scratch my head and pull at my hair as she tried to scrub my scalp with her finger nails. IT hurt. But as if that wasn't enough, she'd get soap in my eyes. Johnson and Johnson can kiss my ass. Tearless baby shampoo only means there are no baby tears in the bottle, because there are plenty everywhere else.


I'd sit there screaming because my eyes are burning and for my suffering I'd get rewarded either by a swift dunking or a large cup of water poured over my face. Yay, nothing like suffocating to distract you from the fact that their is a cleaning agent in your eyes.


Bath time was traumatic for me. As a result, I'm sensitive to my kid's own hair washing and I take great care to avoid repeating the same mistakes of my mom.


The first trick is the water level. The water level has to be just high enough to cover half their ears, but not be near their eyes. I measure the water level by sticking my hand, fingers extended, into the water and seeing where it comes up to on my hand. I then compare that to my kids head to judge how deep the water should be when they are laying down in it.


I get their hair wet once and then have them sit up while I lather their hair up. The little hairs on the front of their forehead are not important enough to soap up their entire head. You can get a good lather on all of their hair without getting any soap on their forehead.


I don't have claw like fingernails, but I still slowly work in the shampoo. If you try to immediately rub into the scalp, it's going to hurt because the hair is still clumped together. Let the shampoo do its job and the hair will untangle allowing you to get to the scalp without pulling on it.


After the shampoo, I have them lay back down into the water. The second trick is to rinse your hands before you start rinsing their hair. The foam will be all over your hands and you can't avoid getting it in their eyes or dripping into their face unless you rinse your hands first. Once your hands are bubble free, then you can start rinsing their hair. If you pour the water slowly from a cup, it won't flow far from the lip of the cup. So you can pour the water directly on their hair line slowly without getting it into their eyes. It helps if you keep a hand over their eyes to block any water that might roll over the crest of their forehead if they move or you misjudge how quickly you're pouring the water. And that's it. One clean haired kid who'll need one less visit to the therapist.


Oh, you didn't think anyone could possibly put that much thought into washing a kid's hair? Michel-fucking-angelo baby. Michel-fucking-angelo.

Geek Post

Um, so as much of a geek as I am, I'm not this bad.

But I did find this cool new site that lets you make music videos.

Here's my first video. I've got a feeling this is going to be addictive. It takes a while to render, but the results are a lot of fun.

http://animoto.com/play/PWZmuL6HCqqVMJAp9abwCw?autostart=false

Saturday, August 23, 2008

And It's Done

Amazingly simple. www.kentavos.com now points to this blog and vice versa. You shouldn't have to change any bookmarks or links. darthkent.blogspot will redirect you to kentavos.com, etc.

If any of you blogging fools feel like doing the same, let me know. The instructions on blogger are surprisingly clear, but it can still be a little intimidating.

I suppose Otro will now find this site. Greetings Otro, I've been expecting you. Ha.

Friday, August 22, 2008

El Otro Kentavos

Most of you who know me, know my nickname Kentavos.

I use this for my personal email addresses and commonly for my message board accounts, etc. It's my online profile, because it's unique and usually easy to register.

I picked up the name in Cancun. While there during our Senior class trip, my friend Danny, who was so impressed with my Spanish and my ability to get around bars, bathrooms and buses, decided somewhere deep down I had to be part Mexican. That being the case, I had to have a Spanish name. What's the Spanish version of Kent? No idea, so it must be Kentavos, which in hindsight is a lot better then Kento or Kentido.

And Kentavos was born.

One of the funny things about the Internet is that it really shows how un-unique we all really are. What you may not know is that there is another Kentavos in the cyberworld. El otro Kentavos lives in Portland, OR; likes soccer and apparently club music.

I first became aware of the other Kentavos when I decided to see how much of my online life would be displayed if I did a Google search for "Kentavos". Various websites and message boards, where I had made smart ass comments or asked redundant questions, were returned.

Then randomly there was a website about soccer where a Kentavos was posting comments. Wait, that's not me, I've never been to that site. And so I discovered another me.

The Internet has become sort of a land grab between me and Otro.

I registered with gmail first.
Otro got myspace.
I've had hotmail forever.
Otro owns youtube.
I own a number of random logins.
Otro owns twitter.

It's a weird tango and I always know that if I go to a website and Kentavos is already taken, Otro has been there first.

I really think it's sort of cool. It's interesting that we both love soccer and I'm sure we probably share a lot of other interests, but I'm hoping we never meet. That would be sort of weird.

I did make the latest claim though and it will impact this blog. Look for this blog to move to www.kentavos.com some time this month. Check, Otro. Your move.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Cute Kid Story

Toddlers (2-4 yrs.) have a very strange view of the world. I'm not sure if it's their height or lack of experience, but they just look at things differently than you or me or even a 6 yr. old.

The other day, the family was all sitting around the coffee table doing something. Charles and Elise were bickering about the rules of some game they had made up.

"You can't do that, it has to move like this." Charles complained as Elise violated the laws of child physics, which is pretty hard to do.

"Nuh, uh Chawools. I know I can do it."

"How do you know?"

"I know everything."

"Oh yeah? Well how did the dinosaurs die?" Charles asked knowing he had her stumped. Charles learned in 5 yr. old kindergarten that no one really knows how the dinosaurs died, so this is his trick question to prove every one's ignorance.

"Like this Chawools?"

I looked over at this point, because I didn't understand her answer. Elise was laying down on her side with her eyes closed and arms and legs slightly sprawled in a very convincing dead dinosaur pose.

Charles rolled his eyes and Corinne and I laughed our asses off. She really did know everything.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Oh So Busy

I'm going to apologize for the reduced number of blog posts lately and the noticeable decline in quality and substance.

I've been besieged by responsibilities and activities that have left me fairly exhausted and uninterested in spending more time on the computer typing away. However, much like the dull un-sharpened knives sitting in my wooden knife block, the blog has been calling my name demanding some attention. And here I am.

What have we missed. Well birthdays for one. Charles and Corinne both celebrated birthdays in August. Read the wife's blog for details and pictures. I'll only add that driving multiple six year olds an hour and a half to Memphis and back deserves some sort of damn medal. I gave Corinne some drinking glasses and napkins from Catstudio for her birthday.


Speaking of cats, we now have one. uh, yay.

It's a black cat named "Pumpkin". Charles wanted to name it "Dark Knight Cat" and Elise wanted to name it "Sassy". I would have been cool with a compromise and called it "Sassy Dark Knight", but Corinne insisted on Pumpkin.

I can read your minds, how in the world did the guy who hates all things resulting in more responsibility end up with a cat? I have no fucking idea. I came home and here's this cat. What the hell? We also ended up with two snails for the fish tank, but since they eat algae and don't require money, I'm OK with them.

So am I Noah collecting animals before the flood? No. Corinne found this cat at the park and started feeding it there.


Fine, just don't bring it home.
OK, but I think I might get it fixed.
Fine, but you have to pay for it with your own money. Wait, what was that? Is that a cat? Dammit.


It's a sweet cat, unlike the last one that I'm still not really sure ever existed since it constantly hid under the couch and only came out when everyone was asleep to howl and run laps around the furniture. This cat, Pumpkin, will actually let you scratch it, hold it, etc. There is no litter box, so at least it shits outside and I don't have to act like some ancient Egyptian servant cleaning up its feces, but it has slept inside.


We'll see. I'm pretty sure the first time it carves up one of the couches it'll be spending a lot more time outside, but for now as long it behaves itself, it can stay. sigh.


Work has been keeping me busy as well. Most of my work would be considered fairly boring, so we'll just say the TPS reports are really piling up. I did have a trip to Seattle recently. That went well and I enjoyed visiting the city and friends. It had been a while, so it was good to catch up.


One of our good friends is moving to Seattle very soon. As a matter of fact, she is probably getting completely smashed at her themed going away party as I type. It was a stone age and out of space party or something like that. So long Anna, good luck in Seattle.


Ahh, I did blog about Seattle or at least the late night driving home. Damn, another thing I need to finish. What was the other "realization"? It was about race, which was why I was hesitant to post it. Unfortunately in this country it's incredibly difficult to have an honest conversation about race. As a result, I'm completely hesitant to publicly post some of my observations. It wasn't anything bad, but in this age of Political Correctness where a person can get fired for properly using the term 'niggardly' I'd rather not take any chances.


Moving on. The Olympics. We turned off cable, but I've been keeping up somewhat. My favorite so far has been the Men's 4 x 100 relay. Absolutely inspiring. Lee Greenwood was probably crying.

Speaking of turning off the tv. I've been amazed at the amount of free content on the Internet. Comedy Central pretty much posts everything. ESPN has 360, which is free if you use ATT. There is Hulu.com which is now showing free full length movies, including some good ones like "Lost in Translation". There's Tidaltv, which has a random selection of free stuff. And I'm not even actively looking for stuff, these are just the ones I've stumbled across. I'm convinced that TV providers are becoming increasingly irrelevant.

Not that I'm really watching a whole lot of Internet right. So what else has been keeping me? I'm working on a couple of projects. They're both business interests that I'm keeping quiet until the appropriate time. One of them involves conquering the world, so of course that one is taking longer than I like. I've also been doing a lot of volunteer type stuff. United Way and Rotary club have been keeping me occupied. And disc golf. Ole Miss has a pretty nice course I've been spending a lot of time cussing on. It's fun and cheap, two of my favorite traits for any activity.

Enough for now. My next post should be about some global things I've been noticing. Obviously with Georgia and Russia there is a lot going on, but I'm getting the sense we're about to see some interesting stuff happen in general. More on that later.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Happy Birthday Wifey!

Happy birthday to my wonderful wife. She turned 21!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Cold Play, Fog and Insomnia

It's 2:18 AM right now and I'm bumping up against the 20 hour mark for waking hours. I didn't sleep very well last night and so realistically over the last 48 hours, I've probably gotten about 4 hours of sleep. For the last 10 hours, I've been traveling across the country from Seattle back home to Oxford.

And yet here I am, blogging in the middle of the night. This post couldn't wait, I had to expel it from mind or else I won't be able to sleep.

One of the things I learned in college was that you didn't need drugs to experience an altered state of mind. It only took going without sleep for certain periods of time. Trust me on this one kids; you will hallucinate after staying up for three days straight.

I wasn't seeing sombreros in the middle of the highway, but my mind was definitely on tilt as I traveled home on I-55 tonight. Which was good. Because my view point was different I learned a few things tonight.

I realized that I love I-55. I cringe when people mention how much they hate the drive between Oxford and Jackson because there is nothing there. I always want to mention the incredible sunset behind the rolling cow pastures somewhere between Durant and Duck Hill that I once pulled over to photograph. Or how incredible the stars look through the open sun roof in the middle of the night when there is no other light source to drown them out. Tonight there was fog near Senatobia and it was creating incredible effects. Cars would come over a hill and their headlights made the fog look like it was moving as a wave down the hill. I've spent so much time on I-55, it's like the street I grew up on.

I listened to Coldplay on XM. XM is doing a 30 days of Coldplay on channel 51 or something. At least that's what they kept saying as I listened to it on channel 29. I never knew Coldplay was prolific enough that you could devote 30 days to them. I always thought they were too busy fighting with each other to actually put out albums. Or maybe I thought that because all of their songs sound alike.

I realized something else, but I'm going to have to post it later after some thought. I just spent the last 40 minutes writing about it when I realized that I'm not sure it's something I need to hang out in the Internet. I also just realized that I'm so exhausted that I'm literally thinking in a British accent. I'm not playing.

I need sleep now.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

11 Billion Dollars and How to Spend it

ExxonMobile has once again beaten it's own record for the most profit in the history of America and has managed to make $11.68 billion dollars in 3 months. That's roughly $1,500 a second.




Oddly, it wasn't enough according to the analysts and their stock price dropped. They were supposed to make $12 billion.



If there was ever any doubt about how profitable oil is, this should clear it up. A sheik from Qatar recently needed an oil change for his Lamborghini LP640.






Rather than having just anyone change the oil, he decided it should be serviced by Lamborghini technicians. Only problem is that there are no Lamborghini dealers in Qatar. Oh, what's a poor sheik to do?

How about fly the Lamborghini to the Lamborghini dealer in London, England ? Yes, he flew the car to London for an oil change.


Awesome.

In an informal poll, it appears the American public is pretty fed up with oil companies. I'm not sure if they can be completely blamed, but I surely don't think they're helping the situation. The good news is that because Americans feel this way, it's less likely our politicians will open up protected lands for drilling.